So you got his name, got his number, had a few conversations via phone and text and there’s some talk about going the two of you going on a date. You are excited about getting some face time, but also nervous because you are not sure of how things will turn out. Where to go and what should you do? Will you guys hit it off or will the evening be riddled with awkward silence? Will you still find each other attractive upon second look? Will this be your first and last gay date you have with this person?
Nothing gets the heart pumping quite like the nervous anticipation that goes along with going out on a first date with a guy. Whether it’s a blind date or someone you’re already acquainted with, the first meeting with a dating prospect brings with it a host of emotions, more commonly a mixture of excitement and nervousness. As the pivotal moment approaches, thoughts can become centered on such questions as: “Will he like me?” “Will I like him?” “Is he going to be The One?” “What if I mess things up and make a fool of myself?” “What will I talk about? What if I run out of things to say?”
Dating is hard enough but when you add the pressure of trying to create an awesome gay first date, you could very well sabotage yourself before you even get started. So, just relax and read on..
When setting a time and place for your date, be sure to make it a short meeting (1-2 hours) for the first time and select a place that is either activity-oriented or allows for lots of opportunity to talk. Avoid movies and instead opt for a short get-together at a coffee shop or at the zoo. Making it brief takes a lot of the pressure off, especially if you find the two of you aren’t compatible, and allows for healthy pacing of your dating relationship. You can always extend the date if you’re getting along famously.
Things to avoid discussing (along with religion and politics) is ex’s, this can be a dangerous area and can open up a tin of worms.
No dinner or movie first dates. Both of these defeat the purpose of a first date because they interrupt the flow of conversation. If you do a dinner date, there will be a period of silence because it’s rude to talk with your mouth full. Same for movies, there is at least 90 minutes where you will not be speaking with each other. Any type of silence during a first date will be awkward so try to avoid it at all costs.
No first dates on Friday or Saturday nights. These are nights where most singles have things planned with their friends. This means that the slightest upset during that date, your date will automatically be thinking “I could have been….” Also, Friday and Saturday nights are busy times for most venues so all that uninterrupted conversational time is probably not going to happen. Try and stick to Sunday – Thursdays for first dates. It makes a difference.
Be a gentleman. Manners are sexy and they will take you far. Make sure you are always being considerate and polite to your date and anyone else for that matter. The way you treat others will stand out in your dates mind.
Secure your second date at the end of the first. In the sales field, you never leave business on the table. The same thing goes for gay dating. If you had a good time on your first date, secure that second date before you two part ways. Most the times, it’s as simple as asking. To be even more strategic, include a day so your date knows you’re genuinely interested.
The key is to have fun with dating and take a light approach. Dating is both an art and a science, combining common sense decision-making with self-awareness of what one wants and needs for a happy and fulfilling lifestyle. It will make the process much more easy-going and rewarding. Cheers to your dating success!
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